Finding ways to increase those happy moments....

Some ways I'm thinking of to increase my happy, stress free moments are -
I find that alot of them have to do with doing something with or for others..........connecting to others in some way through the heart gives me joy and happiness.

1. Spend a little bit of time everyday doing a little something for someone else. Right now what comes to mind is making some small gifts for different people for Diwali, just small little gifts - could be vases, pencil holders, a notebook or even a scarf or handpainted bag. Learn to make small little items and even paint some items - this will be doing that something that i enjoy doing - without ANY CARE of taking it anywhere.
Fire point - I have to remember that my parents are going to definately see it in terms of doing it as a career or making money from it. I need to remember, I am doing this as a hobby.........making little gifts for others, something i've always loved to do.

2. As I'm working on this 'doing something for others' I could think of other ways of doing things I really love for others. Again, this is not from the monetary point of view at all, this is just doing something nice for others. I could think of something like learning chocolate making and make chocolates to give people on their birthdays or if they do something special. Here i could even think of seeing if there is some NGO that does something interesting with people that I could help with. This could be that something 'HAPPY'........not for money.

3. Maybe look at giving children tuitions....could be math or english.........again it is something that I can do with others.

4. Spending some time singing and finding songs I really love.........their words etc. Starting to really understand and appreciate music - different kinds of geners, classical etc in my free time.
Listening to music

5. Working on feeding my body healthy food. I find this is also something that reduces my stress levels and makes me feel more at ease. I know that i cannot expect anyone else to do this for me now so I have to work on this.

Stress Alert!

I goofed up again.
I knew my stress levels were high....and I ended up loosing my temper on hearing my sister give advice on my dad's illness.
I had told myself to watch out.
As I went downstairs to meditate, I could feel it coming on. It was this feeling of dread, of fatigue, of stress, taking over my whole body.
Today was a really tiring day. Once again over stretched my body. Went to work which was quite a traffic nightmare to get to, spent almost 4 and a half hours there, then came back and within an hour had to go to my music class, came back had to finish work that was due by 8pm, then hardly took a shower and was down to meditate.
By the time i was in the meditation room i could feel myself in pain. It was the first time the fatigue was so high and I realized how difficult it is for me to meditate.
In fact meditation isn't a very pleasant experience for me I realized.
I've been technically meditating for over 8 years now. And though i may have unconsciously realized it before, it was only yesterday when i went over the list of things that have made me happy in the last 6 months, I realized that my meditation didn't even feature in it. In fact it was my friend who first brought this to my notice. When she said it, it made me look back, made me see and realize that with a mind that has so much baggage, with pain in my body, with excruciating amounts of stress in my system, meditation is far from relaxing, its more stressful for me.
In fact I felt myself for the first time sitting and and trying to find a way to make the experience more pleasant for my body and mind.
The realization of the need to relax myself consciously, not give myself pain and stress, may be do Shavasana longer, spend more time on aum chanting and sukha kriya was very new. I realized my way of doing meditation is similar to the way i deal with my life....as though in an emergency, a rush. I always look to meditate better than the second person, be more connected to Sadhguru through my meditation than the person next to me, I have to be best at meditation also.
Unfortunately, like everything else that i try to be best at, in meditation too I've realized in the trying to be number one, I realize I've turned meditation into one more task for me...............one more form of mental torture.

Things I take from today -

- Take on only as much as I can do. Even if i go to the office, I should go only for 2-3 hours, then head back
- Afternoon rest for an hour is necessary
- Relaxation is necessary and intermittent looking at my body to see its pain levels and mind to see its agitation levels. If feel like they are raising. Take a break from whatever activity i may be doing and do something that gives me happiness, pleasure and makes me feel relaxed.
- Looking at ways to make meditation a more joyful process for me rather than painful and stressful.

Happy moments.....

'Moments where I am just here, just here in the moment....I feel happy' I think these are the moments were I feel relief from stress.

I'm thinking of ways I can increase these 'Happy moments' in my life. What things make me happy and how I can increase these.

Today I spoke about this with a friend. She asked me to list out those moments in the last 6 months when I felt really happy, I felt really happy just being here, just being.

Surprisingly I found those moments were nothing highly dramatic like making a painting or having an exhibition or doing a sculpture, or someone buying my painting.............I didn't even think of these. Relaxing on my bean bag reading a book, seeing the flowers on my balcony bloom, standing outside on my terrace with a cool wind blowing in the moonlight, watching a movie with friends were some of the things that came to me off hand.

It made me realize how the small things are what give me those joys. Those moments when I am 'just'. Nothing fancy, nothing big, Just.

Want to talk about this more tomorrow.........

I need to sleep now. I know schedule is a huge part of keeping stress away too.

I need to create a proper schedule and stick by it.

Wake up early needs to be high high up on my list.

Need to look at this more tomorrow!

Stress o tips

I saw an article at : http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm

and really liked what they speak about learning how to manage stress so have put that part below for myself to look at every now and then.

Acceptance is a big one for me. I've recently started realizing I have an issue accepting things, people, situations, circumstances around me. I never knew this about myself before. Recently as things at home turned really bad, I suddenly started realizing that I'm unable to accept it when people don't look at things in a certain way that I find is a more 'evolved' way of looking at something. I realized that in particular I can't accept my family.....I can't accept that they aren't social, their life revolves around my sisters illness and that they always seem stressed and aren't willing to see things in a different light.

I'm working on this now though.............giving them space. Allowing them to be who they are. I'm finding a big change since. I get angry a lot less, we quarrell less and at some level i bother myself a lot less too.

Learn how to manage stress

You may feel like the stress in your life is out of your control, but you can always control the way you respond. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation.

Remember the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

• Avoid unnecessary stress. Not all stress can be avoided, but by learning how to say no, distinguishing between “shoulds” and “musts” on your to-do list, and steering clear of people or situations that stress you out, you can eliminate many daily stressors.
• Alter the situation. If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Be more assertive and deal with problems head on. Instead of bottling up your feelings and increasing your stress, respectfully let others know about your concerns. Or be more willing to compromise and try meeting others halfway on an issue.
• Adapt to the stressor. When you can’t change the stressor, try changing yourself. Reframe problems or focus on the positive things in your life. If a task at work has you stressed, focus on the aspects of your job you do enjoy. And always look at the big picture: is this really something worth getting upset about?
• Accept the things you can’t change. There will always be stressors in life that you can’t do anything about. Learn to accept the inevitable rather than rail against a situation and making it even more stressful. Look for the upside in a situation—even the most stressful circumstances can be an opportunity for learning or personal growth. Learn to accept that no one, including you, is ever perfect.

You can also better cope with the symptoms of stress by strengthening your physical health.

• Set aside relaxation time. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the stress response.
• Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
• Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress. Start your day with a healthy breakfast, reduce your caffeine and sugar intake, and cut back on alcohol and nicotine.
• Get plenty of sleep. Feeling tired can increase stress by causing you to think irrationally. Keep your cool by getting a good night’s sleep.

Take a 5-step program to relieve stress and bring your life into balance

Sometimes stress management isn’t enough. If you feel overwhelmed by stress but can’t seem to follow through with a stress management program, you may need extra help. Helpguide’s free online program can help you relieve stress and replace old emotional habits with healthier ways of thinking, feeling, behaving, and relating to others.

As well as learning why emotional intelligence is so important to your physical and emotional health, you’ll also learn two core skills for reducing overwhelming stress: quick stress relief and emotional connection.

• Quick stress relief. The best way to reduce stress quickly and reliably is by using your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch—or through movement. By viewing a favorite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to a favorite piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and focus yourself. Of course, not everyone responds to each sensory experience in the same way. Something that relaxes one person may do nothing but irritate someone else. The key is to experiment with your senses and discover the sensory experiences that work best for you.
• Emotional connection. Nothing contributes more to chronic stress than emotional disconnection from ourselves and others. Understanding the influence emotions have on your thoughts and actions is vital to managing stress. Life doesn’t have to feel like a rollercoaster ride with extreme ups and downs. Once you’re aware of your emotions, even the painful ones you normally try to avoid or bottle up, the easier it is to understand your own motivations, stop saying or doing things you later regret, gain renewed energy, and smooth out the ride.  

A blog on stress?

I really never thought i'd be doing a blog on 'stress'.
Socially such things are shunned as unacceptable. "A blog on stress, what's wrong with you?" "Oh she must be stressed out" "Oh she must have some problem"..........all these ideas of what people feel or think has always been a consideration for me.
Maybe that's why today I'm finding my way down the alley of facing one of the biggest issues in my life - stress, stress, chronic, debilitating stress.
I actually never realized this was the source of so many problems I have been facing in the last so many many years..........whether a car accident or multiple surgeries or endless faulty tooth procedures, or a chronic muscular problem that crippled me completely.
It's not that there wasn't physical elements to it, or sometimes maybe simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. But today I realize, the stage on which all this was set, the underlying aspect of this all has been stress.
A realization that came to me as I almost reached a situation of a mental breakdown brought on by debilitating stress.
And that's when I realized............I was creating stress. It was no situation, no person, nothing outside of me that could create this very paralyzing may i call it emotion in me. It was me creating it myself. It was my reactions, my ways of looking at things, my strong dislikes, my judgements, my attitudes, my desires, my expectations of myself and others................it was me and only me.
When I saw this it was though I had hit upon a jackpot, as though I had discovered something phenomenal.
I guess the thing with internal realizations is that there aren't any big firecrackers, there aren't any big events to highlight a huge internal discovery that you make. It leaves you feeling a bit confused rather. Because on one side you feel this deep sense of amazement, this deep sense of freedom that this discovery has brought about in yourself. At the other you question it's enormity for it comes so silently.......
I guess the biggest things in life come silently...........
For me the realization that I create stress brought with it a new power.
Now it was in my hands to also find a way out...............
And that's why I began this blog.....to make sense of a journey that unfolded through a series of endless intense physical problems for 8 years........to finally bring to me the root of the issue........stress........